Office Skillz

In case there was any doubt, I’m a nerd.  Especially when it comes to Microsoft Office.  What can I say, I like spreadsheets and making decks.  Sometimes I think of things in terms of Excel formula terminology or reference commands by their shortcuts.  =IF(ISERROR(FIND(H4,G4)),"","x") and Alt+N+V+T are both favorites.  But I digress.  The point is that some people aren’t as into the Office suite as I am.  This is amply evidenced by some truly atrocious ppt slides that I’ve seen in my bee research.  And don’t get me started on excel.

So, let's get right to it.  I know it's all in Spanish; trust me it makes just as little sense even if you can read it.

 

   

  

 

And, I like this one.  What to do if you’re attacked by bees...not clear.  Better to just not bee (get it?) attacked.

But, I’ll let my friends have the final word, twice.

Actually, I kind of like the bee balloons.

The Real Honduras

A good friend of mine recently came down to visit me to take advantage of the long President's Day weekend.  Let’s call him “Russell”.  Russell is a good traveler.  He’s studied abroad, worked in Istanbul, did an around the world trip, and drove 3,000 kilometers on a motorcycle in Vietnam; he’s no slouch. 

So, to take full advantage of his presence here, I decided to take him to the most authentic place in Honduras, the Bay Islands.  Okay, I’m speaking tongue in cheek.  The Bay Islands are three gorgeous islands off the north coast of Honduras where the locals speak English and Spanish with equal ease.  Hotels are big business, taking advantage of the gorgeous weather, sparkling white sand, and brilliantly clear water.  Maybe it wasn’t the best use of Russell’s time but we enjoyed our decision.

Not a lot of cultural activities to partake in so we filled our time with eating seafood, playing pool, and snorkeling.  Food was definitely more expensive as was lodging but pool was free and snorkeling was dirt cheap.  We spent the entire first day snorkeling (for $10 (or $5 if you are a good bargainer)), walking straight off the beach and swimming out to amazing coral.  We got some vball in as well with some expats that were doing extended visits to the Islands.  Russell did impressively well with doubles!  The next day we hired our boy Humberto (water taxi “captain”) to take us offshore to snorkel in the Blue Channel and to Tortuga Channel.  Gorgeous.  Gorgeous. 

Our ongoing joke was that this place was far too dangerous for our girlfriends to have joined us.  “Oh man, Leslie would hate all of this white sand.”  “There’s no way I could bring Victoria here, she hates fresh, coconut-flavored seafood.”  Yeah, we’re really funny.  However, on the last day, as I was giving my email a quick check on the hotel computer, I saw a word doc saved on the desktop.  It was titled “Dear LP”.  I have a good friend with those initials so I opened it up.

The letter was actually meant for the Lonely Planet guidebook.  In a few short paragraphs, Justin and Jennifer recounted how they had been taken hostage at gunpoint and held captive for 6 hours.  They had been riding scooters on the north end of the island when a masked gunmen came running up to them from out of the forest and forced them off their scooters.  Their captors took their belongings and used their credit and debit cards to withdraw money.  Once that was completed, they let them go.

That made us feel better about not inviting the girls along with us.

Cold Fronts

Unfortunately, it is raining here today.  This is bad news because it keeps me from taking another moto adventure.  Brag photos below:

But, fortunately, the weather is easily explained down here.  Any and all weather in San Pedro is caused by a cold front (or its absence).  There is no such thing as high pressure, southerly winds, frigid Canadian air, moist humid air from the Caribbean; nope.  Cold front.  The only questions are when the cold front arrives, leaves, and what number it is.  They number them.  I heard, "frente frío número 23" on the news back in December.  

I suppose it makes sense if that is really only the variable.  Hopefully it passes soon.  I'm hoping to head to the beach tomorrow to play some volleyball.

Semi Literacy

While the majority of Hondurans are literate (80%) they don't seem to place as high of a premium on accuracy of spelling as most Americans do.  Part of this is due to the fact that Spanish has far fewer wonky rules than English and it doesn't necessarily make sense to devote entire classes to the subject in primary school.  But in general, I think there is less importance applied to spelling.

Not a big deal but sometimes results in some funny situations.  For example, I'm working with one Javier Quan down here.  Javier is the man when it comes to bees in Honduras, let me tell you.  This guy knows everything about bees.  You might think that would mean he could give me a cost model for beekeeping but you would be wrong.  I digress.  Javier Quan.  I have his seen his name in various official documents as:  

 

Javier Kuang

Javier Cuan

Javier Quan (nice!)

Javier Quant (my favorite)

There is also my boy Marco.  Poor guy.  His last name is Teodorocopulus...

Literacy

A few weeks ago I had a visit from a locksmith, Carlos.  My apartment door lock had gotten stuck somehow and the key wouldn't open despite my best and repeated efforts.  Finally I caved and called in help.  

Carlos was a nice guy and we talked about what I was doing down here, his moto that was being held together by wires in many places, and the evils of drinking in excess.  After handing him my fistful of lempiras to pay for his work, I asked for a receipt.  He pulled out his pad of receipts and looked at it uncertainly.  Carlos was illiterate.  He said he had trouble with the long words so I helped him spell "llavin".  He was probably 25-30 years old.  Nice guy.  I have a standing offer to go and play cards with him and his friends at the gas station by City Mall whenever I want.  I've got his number so it just might happen.

Just Pictures

   

1. Fishing in Puerto Cortes

2. Caribbean 

3. Working on the honeys

4. Also working on the honeys (not really)

5. Merendon mountains (one block from work)

6. On my way back from work with lunch

7. 3pm happiness

I Need Some Copper

Quick question, how much does scrap metal fetch per pound?  Answer I don’t know but I bet I could find some Hondurans that do.  At least I assume they do since they are going to the trouble of stealing it.  This bothers me for two reasons.

1.   It makes driving my moto that much more dangerous (don’t tell my mother or lovely girlfriend please). If you can believe it, people steal manhole covers, leaving gaping holes in the streets.  These holes are just big enough to catch my front tire and send me flying, I fear.  Sometimes they are marked by palm fronds poking out the top, but not always.  I guess the largeness and roundness (interview questions there) of the manhole covers makes them easy targets.  Let this be a lesson not to be large and round.

2.  It keeps Carolina from calling other aid agencies for me.  This morning when I asked her if she had the number for Swiss Contact (an NGO) she said yes but I would have to call them on my cell; the phone lines in our neighborhood had been stolen for the copper they contain.  I’m not joking.

I suppose it bothers me just because they are stealing in general.  Mostly for the selfish reasons though.

Oh yeah, and the post title was inspired by this song.  I bet those crafty villains sing this all the way to the banco.